In relationship constellations we explore the deeper mechanisms which many of us know only too well. Pain, anger and grief that come up in our intimate relationships. And the trouble we have to engage in or to maintain a relationship.
We often do not see the other, we are intimately connected to our own system. The conflicts that play out on the stage of our daily lives, are fueled by conflicts of our past.
More important than how it works is how do we handle this? Paradoxically, like our reality, it is twofold. We have to accept the phenomena, ourself and the other as they are, without judgment. Then an essence can be observed therein. Constellations are appropriate to uncover the actual deep love within the seemingly painful experiences.
What we can do practically is also twofold. It is important to continue looking into yourself, however difficult that may be. Because the other never really is to blame. (Of course this is not entirely true, as written words and concepts can not catch the actual essence).
And continue to look at the other in the present moment. Respect, in latin, also means to look again. Each time meeting the eyes of the other and seeing how the other can be entangled, just like you can be. And that touches you, and where it touches you belongs to you and not to the other. And again continue looking and trusting. And reconnecting every time, without using this as a way to runaway from yourself.
I wish you a lot of learning and patience. We can only really learn while embracing our pain. That is our twofold existence which is so difficult to understand for our minds. If we understand this then it is no longer pain but a color of living, that the lifeflow brings to us sometimes.
Thank you lifeflow.