During the last 20 years of Constellations we have been able to observe how family systems work. Let me share a few observations with you. These are not only my own observations but also those of Bert Hellinger and other colleagues in the field.
In the sincere connection between man and woman, like in a marriage, we fully serve the flow of life. It is the start of a new family system. In this new family system unfortunaltely we often stay loyal to our old family system. This explains many matrimonial problems. The key does lie in learning to honour our own family system and also the other with his or her family system.
Let me go into detail here. From the love for our ancestors and their dependents we repeat the patterns belonging to them. We follow them through unconscious loyalty. I do also mention the dependents here because of the unseen Family Members. The people that for whatever reason haven’t been acknowledged. Here one can think of unborn children but also of (ex)partners or war victims and perpetrators. Aspecially the ones that haven’t been seen still want to take their place in the system through younger people. Unconsciously children always take these positions in order to create more of a balance. Often at the expense of life and of themselves. During Family Constellations we make this visible and we make sure that the soul can start moving again in a way that does serve the flow of life. We eliminate these entanglements.